Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I woke up with a headache so my plans for going to the Folklife Festival on the mall in D.C. aren't happening :/
I always love this festival because of it's super good ethnic food, cool concerts, unique products for sale etc. Anyways, the bohemian flair that surrounds this festival is something I would love to incorporate into my style. I thought this outfit was a cool take on the bohemian/dessert look!

Anyways, I know that I should be getting better and I know I should eat normally and all that but it's so hard! I keep trying to find ways around meals but my parents are like hawks. Eating a meal and knowing I can't purge after literally makes my skin crawl. There are 2 sides to it really: I want to eat and eat and eat and I also hate food and never want to look at it again. I honestly wish that food didn't exist. How did I start thinking about it so much? I never used to worry about food and I wish I could go back to that.
When I get back to school I will have complete freedom. I'm not sure what I will do with it. Controlling what I eat is probably going to happen no matter what but I really don't want to start purging again.

So, in terms of food today I have eaten:
for breakfast - a bowl of raisin bran with whole milk, blueberries, and a scoop of vanilla yogurt
for lunch - grilled cheese sandwich on whole grain bread
for dinner - a slice of quiche, eggplant and tomatoes

15 minutes of calisthenics/pilates
30 minute walk

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

yucky feelings

AAAANNNND i ate a bowl of ice cream. the one thing i can't escape is the feeling of weakness when i eat. eating that ice cream made me feel worthless. i know i should be able t0 eat whatever i want to but impulse-eating makes me feel like shit afterwards. at least i didn't purge (and haven't since sunday!). tomorrow will be better.

It's a brand new day

This is my first post!
I'm Kit, an 18 year old political science major in college, lifeguard, recovering anorexic/bulimic, smoker, drinker, and fashion enthusiast.
I'm not very creative and not very original and
I would be ok if no one ever followed this blog but I just want to put my thoughts out there.
I want somewhere to write down my recovery journey, health tips, recipes, fashion ideas, music, stuff I like etc.

I recently told my p
arents about my eating disorder and they flipped shit. There is a pH detector on every pipe in the house so they will know if I purge, I have to eat 3 meals a day (plus force-fed snacks), doctor's visits, and possible withdrawal from college if they don't think I'm better by the time school starts. When I went to the doctor last week I weighed in at 94 lbs and I have to be up to 100 lbs and eating normally/not purging to go back to school.
The doctor said I should keep a journal and write down what I eat so I make sure to eat normal meals. I figured this was just as good :)

So, my basic plan is this:
every day I will post what I've eaten, the exercise I've gotten, and 1 other fun thing (my outfit for the day, a piece of clothing I'm in love with, a must-have new album, a good recipe I tried or something like that)

I guess I'll go ahead and start...
Breakfast: cup of Dannon Caramel yogurt, iced coffee with nonfat milk and a spoonful of hershey's chocolate syrup
Morning snack: apricot, 8 Wheat Thins, 2 squares of Ghiradelli dark chocolate
Lunch: quesadilla (1 flour tortilla, chopped chicken, cilantro, monterrey jack cheese), 1 cookie (I'm going to post the recipe for these. SOOOOO good.)
Dinner: 1 slice of spinach/bacon quiche

Exercise: 30 minute walk with my labradoodle puppy Maggie

So, I think today was good. I didn't purge and I feel ok. Slightly fat in the stomach area but ok.
I made these cookies yesterday and they are to die for!


  • 1 cup butter, softened
  • 1 1/2 cups white sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2/3 cup cocoa powder
  • 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
  • 1 cup coconut flakes


  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
  2. In large bowl, beat butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla until light and fluffy. Combine the flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt; stir into the butter mixture until well blended. Mix in the chocolate chips and walnuts. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.
  3. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or just until set. Cool slightly on the cookie sheets before transferring to wire racks to cool completely. Enjoy! They are the best cookies in the world and they keep well.